I hope you have the delightful life you constantly wanted. By the way, my lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
Prior to leaving her, a husband decided to write his wife a letter.
Prior to leaving her, a husband decided to write his wife a letter.
Dear Wife,
I'm writing you this letter to inform you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a nice man to you in our seven years of marriage, and I have nothing to show for it. These most recent two weeks have been extreme for me. Your supervisor told me that you quit your job today, and that was too much to bear any more.
Last week, you came back home and didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favored supper, and rocked a new pair of boxers. You ate shortly and went directly to sleep after watching all of your cleansers. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as a couple. You may be cheating on me, or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case, It's over, and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband.
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have an extraordinary life!
And this is how his wife responded:
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has filled my heart with joy more than getting your letter. Without a doubt, you and I have been married for as long as seven years, though a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my television shows so much since they drown out your consistent whimpering and fussing, even though that doesn't seem to work.
I just want you to know that I noticed your haircut a week ago, but the main thing that struck a chord was, "You look simply like a young lady!" And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I decided not to comment. Furthermore, when you arranged my preferred dinner, you must have gotten me mistook for my sister since I quit eating pork seven years ago.
About those new boxers, I got some distance from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I implored it was a fortuitous event that my sister had recently borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I, despite everything, loved you and felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and got us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I returned home, you were gone.
I surmise everything occurs, which is as it should be. I hope you have the delightful life you constantly wanted. By the way, my lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell And Free!
P.S. My sister Carla was actually born Carl. I hope that's not a problem!
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