Story — The Art of Letting Go (A Gaesha Marie Pepito Story)

On the night of April 12, 2019, she thought of taking a bunch of sleeping pills all at once. That was the third time she tried to take her own life.

After a lover's betrayal, Gaesha Marie Pepito, a 29-year-old transgender from Consolacion Cebu, finds peace.

We know the significance of releasing the things that keep us down. However, for what reason is it so difficult to let go?

Such was the experience of Gaesha with her ex-boyfriend, whom she met in 2015. She gave all that she could to him, but all her sacrifices turned into pain.

Gaesha had a hard time accepting what her ex did to her. She became careless with herself and addicted to alcohol.

Her work performance was affected, as was her relationship with her loved ones. But something worse happened to her.

"It really hurts, so I thought it would be better for me to just die at the time," Gaesha told Nilatch. "I tried to commit suicide three times."

She smiled bitterly and shook her head at the thought. She then began to review the course of her own past. She could not stop her tears from flowing.

"I did everything for him. Believe it or not, of my 30,000 monthly salary as a call center agent, I only have 10 thousand left because I give the rest to him," she shared. "But that was still not enough for him. I also found out that he also had sex with other gays."

Gaesha said she did not immediately break up with him even though she knew he was cheating on her. She would forgive him whenever he apologized to her. But he still kept on doing things that hurt her.

On the night of April 12, 2019, she thought of taking a bunch of sleeping pills all at once. That was the third time she tried to take her own life. Gaesha survived when she slit her wrist and jumped off the bridge in Mandaue, so she prayed that she would die this time.

However, she woke up the following day in a hospital room, still alive. She saw her mother sitting next to her bed. Gaesha burst into tears when she noticed her mother crying.

"In those moments, I realized it was a big mistake for me to end my life just because of a man. I have a mother who loves me unconditionally," she said.

Gaesha found out that her friends were also in the hospital. She was remorseful because she never listened to them. She only believed everything her ex-boyfriend said.

Today, Gaesha can say that she has moved on from her ex. She is happy again being with her family and real friends, the Kamang Gays. She met several men because of Mobile Legends, but for now, all she wants is to enjoy herself first. Also, she wants to save money again.

When asked if she has completely moved on from her ex, Gaesha said, "There's a typical misconception that letting go implies we need to forget and never again be affected by our past.

"It's reasonable where this thought originates from, but on the other hand it's completely senseless. How can we fully detach from something that helped shape how we see the world?"

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