Here's What Your Sexual Fantasies Might Reveal About You

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Your sexual fantasies provide a window to your personality. Social psychologist Justin Lehmiller investigated this concept in his book, "Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Improve Your Sex Life."

Lehmiller explored sexual fantasies with more than 4,000 Americans at the Kinsey Institute. His study was the first of its kind, with respondents ranging in age from 18 to 87 and making up a spectrum of occupations, sexual and gender identities, political and religious affiliations.

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The study concluded that fantasies usually fall into three categories: Group-sex, BDSM (bondage, dominance/submission, sadomasochism, etc.), and novelty or adventure. Both sexes have similarities when it comes to sexual fantasies, according to the study.

"I found that many of the fantasies people tend to stereotype as being as masculine, like threesomes, and feminine, like emotional fulfillment, were actually things that a majority of men and women alike were fantasizing about," Lehmiller explained.

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The study also showed that one's romantic partner is most likely to appear in one's sexual fantasies. You might also take your personality into account when it comes to sexual fantasies.


"Overall, our fantasies appear to reflect who we are and seem to be designed to meet our unique psychological needs," Lehmiller said.

Photo: Freepik

He discovered that people who have a more extroverted personality fantasize more about sex with others and non-monogamy. In contrast, people with more concern for their fellow humans fantasize less about sex with others, infidelity, and emotionless sex.

Meanwhile, Lehmiller said his book breaks down barriers to discussing sexual fantasies, allowing readers to let them become a part of their sexual realities. His book will also improve readers' relationships and marriages in the future, he said.

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